“Yeah I don’t really think you can give anyone advice on dating. No offense.”
-A girl I used to “date”.
Note from the author:
I’ve dated lots of girls: girls with blue, green, and brown eyes; girls with flower dresses and long, auburn hair; girls with septum piercings and other unmentionables; girls with issues; girls that don’t like me; girls that love me; girls that think I’m just adorable; girls that think I’m weird; girls that think I’m a man-whore and never, ever, think I’ll be monogamous; girls that are absolutely beautiful, enough to the point that I do their dishes, or make them breakfast; girls that wear my flannel in bed; girls that come into my room and rifle through my poetry; girls that flake; girls that bake; girls that I have genuinely, and obliquely, fallen in love with.
*Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. (Wikipedia)
So you’ve met someone. He/She has a beard, is cunning, witty, provocative. You’ve seen them at parties, and they know your friends. You’ve seen him/her at a bar, alone, smiling and dancing and being genuinely happy. The following is 12 points of advice and information pertaining to dating, and be warned, they’re kind of awesome in their ridiculousness. I hope you enjoy:
1. “Don’t play their games. Never reveal your feelings until month 6. Don’t take s***. Ignore the things they say 60 percent of the time. If they try to make you jealous, laugh at them.” Man, single.
2. “Dating is awesome, and heartbreaking, and scary, but we all do it because there are so many amazing moments that all the bad stuff is actually worth it.” Girl, recently single.
3. “Don’t sleep with other chicks.” Man, in a relationship.
4. “I mean I think dating is worth it if it’s real…I shouldn’t be the one to talk but I hate relationships that drag on and on and everybody knows they should end but the people in them. If you’re lying in a relationship then you shouldn’t be in one, and if it’s not a healthy, happy relationship, move on.” Girl, single.
5. “From my past I have always enjoyed dating. Looking back is pretty much either “What the hell was I thinking?” or “What the hell am I doing?” Girls will always be crazy about finding that one, and I am pretty sure there is only one out there for each guy – finding that one is key to any man’s happiness” Man, in a relationship.
6. “Buying stuff at the beginning of a relationship sucks because when you run out of money you don’t want to tell the girl because she may think less of you for not being able to buy that effing margarita.”
7. “Dating? Shoot. I need a woman that’s man enough to handle me. Give me that, and I’ll give you some dating.” Man, single.
8. “Dating sucks.” Man and woman, single.
*When I asked one guy about dating, he said, “I think I just like us as friends”.
9. “I feel like it’s pointless, because if you feel connected to someone, and like spending time with them, putting a label on it usually ruins it because there are so many social stigmas and expectations attached to that label, it basically destroys the naturalness of the relationship you formed in the first place. That and I’ve always been really crappy at it, and it’s kind of all for show. Like…. “Look! We’re Facebook official” or, I NEED people to know that YOU ARE MINE. Instead of enjoying time with someone it has turned into exploiting time with them.” Girl, single.
10. “Dating has either been too serious or not serious enough in my experience. Never quite found that happy medium, but that’s probably why I’m single.” Man, single.
11. “Not many guys can deal with a girl who likes to shoot whiskey, destroy anything beautiful, and laugh at dead baby jokes.” Girl, single.
12. “I can’t say I’m very good at it. Dating feels like a forced activity that single people do to take up time until they decide to date a friend.” Man, single
Finally, my advice on dating: Dating is a two way street. If someone is putting more in it than the other person, obviously it’s not going to work. If someone keeps their options open, which usually happens, then they shouldn’t be talking to anyone at all. The thing about dating is honesty. Honesty, man. How hard is it? How hard is it to only see one person? Divorce rates are skyrocketing, people are sleeping with as many people as they can, girls are one-upping their man by talking to his friend. The whole establishment of dating has changed so fast, that many are lost. Don’t lie to yourself, we’re all lost, but that’s the thing about dating – sooner or later, some weirdo is going to find you, and you’re going to fall in weird with each other, and then call it love. That’s how I like to think of love or dating. So, riddle me this: are you ready to date? Ready for that fantastical, exciting adventure of falling in love? A girl I surveyed told me this, “You only have your first kiss with someone, once”. She couldn’t be more right. So, strap on your dating shoes, walk up to that guy/girl, and proceed to spit game, harass, or objectify in order to see someone. But, if he or she is only the seventeenth person you’ve talked to this month, get real man.
Oh yeah, and the most important thing about dating is this: DON’T LIE.
Easier said than done, right?